Step-family Talk

Yesterday I picked up my 13 month old son from day care and the instructors had helped the children in the nursery put together a present for Father’s Day. I learned something yesterday. I am an English Major and have read plenty of poems in my day. I’ve come to appreciate poetry, but never have I been moved to tears by a poem. Guess what, this dad got a surprise. My eyes welled up in response to a cute little poem that was part of the present. It’s wasn’t a Shakespearian Sonnet or The Love Song of J. Alfred Proofrock, but it got me.

I learned that being a dad means that you surrender a degree of control over your emotions. Okay, maybe it doesn’t mean that. One of the predominant images that I’ve seen of a dad is the stoic. He’s the guy that has a hard time giving a guy a hug, saying “I Love You”, or “I’m Proud of You”. He’s the guy that never cries. (At least he never let’s anyone see him cry.)

But, I’m beginning to suspect that the stoic dad is really a stage act. It’s embarassing having one of them there sentimental emotions sneak up on you. I’m guessing that the stoics are probably an angry lot, because anger is a rather unfriendly emotion and tends to scare the others away. Setiment won’t sneak up on anyone when anger is tromping around and scarry all the other poor emotions away. The problem with stoicicism is that if you act that way long enough it becomes a way of life that is hard to shake and you can’t really show the right emotion to your children when they need them.

I hope to be the type of dad that never fears telling my son I love him. And I’m willing to let the occasional random sentiment strike me, if that is what it takes to remain emotionally available to my children. With that in mind, I want to share the poem with every father out there. Mom’s if your reading this and you have a little one and still need to get a gift for dad. Here’s an idea.

My present was a picture on construction paper that reads “Happy Father’s Day!” In the middle is a tie with the poem and on the sides are my son’s footprints. The poem reads:

Footprints

Walk a little slower daddy,
Said a small child
I’m following in your
Footsteps and I don’t
Want to fall

Sometimes your steps
Are very fast
Somethimes they’re hard to see
So walk a little slower daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I’m all grown up
Your what I want to be
Then I will have a child
Who’ll want to follow me

And I would want to lead
Just right
And know that I was true
So walk a little slower daddy
For I must follow you.