The Great Gopher Commands Your Opinion
I know, I know…. I said I was going to define a good father today. And it IS the subject of this post, but I don’t want to define a good father yet. I want this to be the most interactive post I have yet written. You see, I have a theory and I want to test my theory. Unfortunately, if I say anything about it, it will skew the survey I want to take. So, I shall not mention my theory until tomorrow. What I ask of you today, is to take a minute and write down the first five things that come to your mind when you think of defining a good dad. And then, I want you to post them in the comments. Don’t worry, if your definitions are the same as others. I want an honest gut reaction to this question. So, if you would be so kind, write your answers out on a piece of paper before you go to the comments section.
I am going to be bold and directly request the opinion of some other bloggers out there. The following list is sites that I read all the time and opinions that I value. There is no special order:
Sympathy Pain
The Anvil Tree
Freaked Out Fathers
The Molks
Be a Good Dad
Be a Good Mom
Down With The Kids
Parenting Under The Stars
Death By Children
If you are reading this and not listed here, I encourage you to respond to this article, the larger the survey, the better. Tomorrow, I will have a regular posting. Wednesday I will summarize the results of the comments and give my theory.
Again, the question is, “What five things first come to your mind when you think of defining a good dad?”
June 25th, 2007 at 8:45 am
The whole Great Gopher thing ALMOST scared me away. Almost.
1) A good father is a partner to the child’s mother, even if they’re no longer together.
2) A good father recognizes the difference in being a child’s parent and a child’s friend, and knows that being a child’s friend is not appropriate.
3) A good father will caution against harm, but will allow the child to fail to learn a lesson. This does not warrant an “I told you so” from the father, but does open a discussion.
4) A good father understands that discipline sucks for a little while, but makes for a more productive child in the long run.
5) A good father sees his child for what the child is, acknowledging all flaws and pluses. The flaws are opportunities to learn, and the positives are reasons to celebrate.
June 25th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Sorry about the gopher. I found that picture and I’ve been looking for a place to use it.
June 25th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
A good father:
does not discipline without explaining why,
does not say a negative comment without following with a positive one
knows his own behaviour constantly serves as an example
puts the families wants before his own
lets his children know they can speak to him anytime about anything and he will be respectful of their views.
June 26th, 2007 at 12:53 am
My top 6 (sorry) traits of a good father…
Love
Respect
Consistency
Fun
Generousity
Grace
…and I strive to fulfill each of these daily, and I’m sure I fail on each daily too.
The gopher is a cack!
June 26th, 2007 at 4:16 am
Thanks for inviting us into this Jonathan. Great topic.
A great Dad:
1. Is there. Is present. Combines quality time with quantity time and does it regularly.
2. Listens to his kids whether he finds the subject matter interesting or not.
3. Learns to find the subject matter interesting.
4. Has a positive vision for the adults his kids will grow up to be. I don’t mean “He will grow up to be a doctor” and “She will grow up to be a Mathmetician” - I mean, he is trying to instill values in his children such as empathy, a sense of humour, assertiveness, generosity, etc.
5. Sets firm boundaries, enforces consequences consistently when they are crossed and discusses the boundaries with his kids as they get older.
Now I’m going to read everyone else’s comments. This is good stuff.
June 26th, 2007 at 4:25 am
The gopher has something of the “evil ewok” about it.
June 26th, 2007 at 7:41 am
I’m very flattered to have my opinion sought, it doesn’t happen much these days - might be why be I started a blog, that way I could express my opinion whether it was sought or not!
Here are my 5:
1. Spends time with his family AND enjoys it!
2. A role model in how he lives his life (actions not just words).
3. A person who makes you feel really safe
4. Someone who knows lots of stuff (whether useful, relevant or whatever).
5. A rock.
July 1st, 2007 at 6:03 pm
[...] about what makes a Great Dad and makes a Dad great. I recommend checking out the comments at The Great Gopher Commands Your Attention & the articles on another Fathering Resources page [...]