Screaming Again
I hate having to explain things to my children that I shouldn’t have to be explaining. I shouldn’t be the one that has to explain them when it is my ex who is the one doing the things in question and I definitely shouldn’t have to explain them to a nine year old, who in my opinion is WAY too young to know or have to worry about such things. But I find myself doing it more and more as my ex-husband, the selfish fellow that he is, continues to do things while he has my kids that my kids have been taught from birth are wrong.
There is nothing like trying to tell a crying nine year old that while his father isn’t a bad person his actions are not in accordance with our beliefs. It’s not a conversation I should have had to have. I am tired of being the one who always has to explain things, the one who has to be the tough, strong, stable shoulder, the only person who seems to bear any of the burden of raising these children in the way they should be raised.
I am so tired I could just scream. And I just might. But hopefully only to myself. Maybe I’ll lock myself in the bathroom or go for a nice long drive once Love gets home from work. I just really need a break from being a sane grown up. I need a minute to cry or yell or forget that I have responsibilities and my life is sure to become more not less difficult as the years go on.
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