Precious Moments
Yesterday, I had one of those truly great moments with my stepdaughter, April, that remind me why its so important to just keep hanging in there as a stepparent. So I really must share it with you.
April was helping me make a fruit salad which is one of her favorites. While we chopped fruit, she was talking about going to high school next year and how she really wanted to play a sport. Unfortunately, she’s never really played or participated in sports up to this point so she’s not at the same level of ability as her peers.
I told her I thought that was the greatest disadvantage she had experienced with living in two separate households. My husband and I have tried to get her involved in several activities; but, for whatever reason, her mother would take April the first couple of times and then decide it was inconvenient and she would stop going. Since we thought this was setting a bad example for sticking with commitments, we stopped signing her up for things.
As we continued to talk, she confided in me that she really wanted to find something she was good at. She talked about cheerleading, dance and gymnastics; but, what she really wanted to do was tae kwon do. She knew her mother wouldn’t agree to take her or help pay for the lessons as she doesn’t think tae kwon do is appropriate for girls, so April was very discouraged.
Since she never confides in me and I was so touched, I’m currently scouring the web trying to find someplace for her to take tae kwon do. I’m bound and determined that she’s going to find her thing. My hubby and I had a fight about it, because he thinks we shouldn’t pay for anything her mother doesn’t agree to pay half of, but I’m sick of all the fighting. I told him that I was paying for it out of my own money and he could just deal with it. I’m so tired of April getting the short end of the stick because her mother is so selfish. Just this once, I’m going to make sure she gets to do what she wants!
April 1st, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I hope your hubby comes around. If it’s something April is truly psyched about, she deserves a chance at it, and she deserves all the support that can be mustered.
I think that is the hardest part of being a step; you have to learn how to complete not count your feelings and focus all of your love and energy onto some little person.