On Anger
My stepdaughter came home this weekend after two weeks with her father. It shames me to confess this, but I wasn’t looking forward to her coming home. I was still angry with her behavior the week prior to her leaving. I just assumed she would pick up right where she left off.
I got angrier with every minute that brought us closer to that inevitable moment she returned. I was preparing for battle. There was no way I was going to put up with the same games she was playing before she left. Then hope arrived. Her father didn’t want to drive all the way to our house and it was getting late. I thought, maybe, just maybe she’d continue to stay there. Then just as quickly as it arrived, hope packed up its bags and left not even bothering to close the door even though we had the air conditioner running. Mom, had agreed to meet him half way.
My anger returned and now I was all alone. My son was sleeping and my wife was on the road. So, I turned on the computer and decided to check on this site to see if anyone had left a comment. And it was there that it hit me. I am have been ranting about what it means to be a man and a father. I’ve been writing about the best practices of being a step parent, yet I wasn’t following through with anything I had written about.
Hadn’t I said, something about how a father needs to model the morals and values he wants his children to have? I seemed to have forgotten forgivness and patience. I was getting needlessly angry over something that had happened two weeks ago. It was time to get over it and get back to being a better stepparent.
So, I took a deep breath and let go of the anger and readied myself to be pleasant at her return. It wasn’t long before Mom returned, but my stepdaughter was nowhere to be seen. Turned out, she was spending the night at a friends. Go figure, I had gotten needlessly angry for nothing, she didn’t even return that night.
p.s. The Great Gopher is in this article, only because he was upset about getting shown up by another overly dramatic rodent.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:46 am
I know how incredibly trite it sounds, but I have always rooted discipline for children in what I know best: training dogs. And the same holds true for children as it does for dogs in many instances.. one of which being that they live in the moment. They are far more resilient than they give us credit for; they haven’t mastered how to hold a grudge yet. So forgiving and forgetting is something very easy for them.. and something we could learn from.
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:06 am
There’s nothing trite in what you say. There is much we can learn from dogs and children. Though, I must say, my stepdaughter is very astute at remembering anything you wish she would forget and remembers nothing you want her to remember.
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:54 pm
The Great Gopher smiles at your realisation, Jonathan… he understands, he’s been there before, and he is still wearing a skull on his head.
Feel for you, mate. It’s very clear that you get ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ is), and are keen to be the father required of you by your wife and kids… good on you… humility is a part of all that…
July 5th, 2007 at 4:56 am
Sounds like you were tested and … passed … and got handed a break in reward.
Thanks for your authenticity. It’s inspiring. May continue to live by your words and principles.