Sometimes my stepkids really seem to like me and sometimes they really seem not to. I’m not sure what the deciding factor is on the weekends. What exactly makes them like or hate me, but it gets frustrating trying to figure out which it will be.

Anyway for the moment I didn’t have to spend my time wondering what it was I’d done to bring them either happiness or misery. This step parent gig is hard regardless of what anyone tells you. There are a lot of people with great knowledge and useful tips and suggestions but the whole thing is just always a little more difficult than you imagine it would be.

If one more person says to me, “so what are we going to do this weekend?” I will scream. I don’t know why we have to “DO” anything. Can’t we just enjoy a weekend at home. Maybe go to the park. Can’t we for one freaking weekend just not spend more money than we have?

What would be so wrong with that?

In other news… I may be starting a new job soon. It is local which means not having to waste half my paycheck on gas and it is at a business I shop at quite a lot which means I’ll get a small discount from now on when I do shop there. They have an employee who is contemplating quitting and from the sound of it the boss (a family friend) is pretty glad to see her go. I should know today one way or the other. So keep your fingers crossed for me.

It would be a part time position but it would mean a little extra income. The only problem is that we would have to ask Love’s mom to watch his kids this summer while they are here and I work and I hate to have to do that. But what can you do, ya know. We definitely need the extra money. We are barely (and I mean BARELY) making it money wise at the moment. So anything extra is a huge help.

Unfortunately my family needed to learn this the hard way. My sister gave my son her old cell phone and charger. They’ve been disconnected for nearly a year but he uses the phone to take pictures and listen to music she uploaded onto it, etc. This morning he comes rushing into my room, crying and frantic.

He tells me that he and his brothers were playing “Cops” and he was the one in need of assistance so he dialed 911 on his cell phone that shouldn’t work and taadaa it did. He was connected through to emergency services. So, of course, he did what any kid in his situation would do… Hung up and panicked. I’m not sure how long he was in his room before he decided it might be worth telling me about.

So then I called the Sheriff’s Department, which was not yet open for business. So I had to call 911 and explain the situation to them as I didn’t want them thinking they had an actual emergency and trying frantically to find the source of the call and what not. The woman thanked me for calling in and explaining which was a relief because I wasn’t really sure of the procedure for something of this nature.

Anyway, be aware that ANY phone connected or not can actually dial 911. Good to know, right?

Today we are looking into a step site called STEP-Carefully

Step Carefully offers a number of highly valuable resources, including helpful articles such as Ten Stepfamily Commandments along with a variety of other very useful articles that are easy to read and not written in a manner of speaking down to you.

They also offer a number of other resources such as a support group, private marriage coaching for both married couples and those about to venture into the field of step-parenting. They also offer a storefront with stepparenting products such as tshirts and mouse pads with their website logo.

Today was a perfect example of such a needlessly dramatic display. Without going into all the details let’s just say that I yelled, stormed off, pouted, and eventually cried.

It was quite the production. And the thing is that I don’t intend to do it, it just sort of happens. Half way through I’m thinking to myself, “What are you doing. Stop doing what you are doing and just be sensible.” But I cannot persuade myself to listen to reason and so I continue with the dramatics and acting like a child until I’ve made such an ass of myself that there is really no where to go from there.

So I sat pouting and crying trying to come up with a reasonable thing to say when I went back to the scene of the fit throwing. Eventually we kissed and made up and the only thing I could say in my defense was, “I’m sorry.” Which sounds lame when you’ve thrown the sort of fit that I’d just thrown. It seems like much too little.

But Love forgave me my pitiful weakness and all was well. The man has un-ending patience.

I’m considering going to someone else’s house (family) until she comes and then I can arrange to meet her at a local store or something but seriously why can’t people just answer their phones. It is ridiculous to me. I answer mine. And a lot of the time I don’t really want to but hello I still do it (almost always) and always If I think it is going to be something of importance.

Besides that what is with ignoring phone messages. You know what they want so just call them back and get it over with. Would that really be so very difficult? I don’t think so.

I have about a zillion things to be grateful for. I know I do, but it is very hard to look at all the things that seem to be going wrong and still be able to focus on the good things. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has this problem occasionally.

With all the car troubles and ex issues, with the problems that arise with children and the day to day of bills and expenses you can’t afford to pay. Life just seems to be so overwhelming. I feel at times that no matter what I try to accomplish I fall another rung lower on the ladder to reach my goals.

I know this sounds like a whiny rant, which it probably is, but I just can’t seem to hit a break even let alone get ahead. It is highly frustrating to be giving so much all the time and receiving not so much from the universe in return.

Some days I just want to curl up under my sheets, lock my bedroom door, and disappear off the face of the earth. And I’m sure that some days my kids truly wish I would. The days that I hear, “I wish I lived with my dad” or the days I hear my stepson tell another of the kids that he doesn’t like me. The days when it feels like it will all come crashing down around me if something or someone doesn’t save me.

So what do I write for this book. What advice could I possible have to offer???

Today I’m going to talk a little bit about a site focused on the step parents themselves.

StepTalk.Org

This is a blog style site where step parents can go and basically just vent. We all know that you always feel better after you just get it off your chest and it doesn’t really matter the venue you chose to do so. I very often times use this blog to vent about the things that bother me as a step parent and wife. Step Talk. Org offers parents a place to vent and read what others are going through as well.

It’s always nice to know that you aren’t alone in the struggle as a step parent. I know with me I always feel better after hearing what other people are going through. It’s as though I have a huge support system out there going through basically the same if not worse stuff than I am. That is something you can cling to when your little life raft gets tossed among the waves of parenthood.

The site also contains some great features such as book reviews, recipes, and news updates